I Was Humbled and Felt a Fraction of a Heartbreak

 

I just woke up from a bad dream. 

It was one of my worst dreams yet, so I'm writing about it. Valentine's Day 2024 is just around the corner. I've been very patient in waiting for the right inspiration to give my boyfriend as a gift. I was feeling a lot of pressure on how to plan for the occasion so before I went to bed, I had only one thing in mind:

'It's been so long since I last cried so much from heartbreak', so here we are.

It wasn't like any other lucid dream I had for ages. I was vividly dreaming of something that I wasn't aware of and it hurt. Like I was getting stabbed in the chest one time and they're just twisting it every few seconds. When everyone left, I didn't mind. But when he did, it felt like the world started growing bigger and bigger and I had no other choice but to keep moving to find him. 

At the end of the dream, I did find him but I was too late. He settled with someone else, and his face started to disappear. It was so vivid that as my chest was hurting, I also couldn't breathe. I love this guy so much that I cried and hit him on the chest twice the second I woke up. The feeling of hurt and sadness brought up this random memory that always seems to pop up whenever I talk to the majority of new people in my life.

"You're love isn't real because you haven't broken up yet."

"You haven't seen him get angry yet. What if you don't like it?"

"You just say that because you haven't met that many people yet."

I could go on and on about the most unhinged things that people say but the first one really got to me. I don't understand how many people think of love as something that should be tested in the most archaic of ways. Nowadays, people know more about relationships the same way they know their electronics. We are born in a generation filled with the freedom of information and the right to be informed.

Either way, I'll be using this dream as proof of how much I love my person with or without Valentine's Day looming over me. Also, he assured me that he'll never leave me. Ever. Also, I feel that he took my unsavory morning greetings with a sense of pride so I guess that's a win. Even so, I don't want him to feel what I felt so if that wasn't "love", then I don't know what is.

Also, I haven't decided on a gift yet.