The Car I Once Built

The sweet and rough texture of sugar at the mouth of the cup served as my daily dose of sweets. At least, for a time until our parents could afford to buy us another can of powdered milk or a few pieces of chocolate. I was the second one among three siblings along with parents undergoing separation so we had it rough.

It all started when I was six years old. We all had our fair share of financial insecurity and I experienced mine at the tender age of six. At that age, all I ever wanted were toys that ran around and gave lots of sounds and wheels. For a time, I never understood why we could never afford those things. I never knew that we were lacking that much money growing up so when the concept of money was brought to my attention, I made it a priority to get richer or just simply build my toys out of scratch. But instead of enjoying the toys and trinkets I made, I developed a zest for creating things for personal use. It made me even happier to provide my service to people who had less imaginative ideas than mine. For example, there was a trend of creating cars out of water bottles and bottle caps. I made a fuss about it to my mother and, the next day, a student of hers brought me a newly-built toy car. I was ecstatic and tore through the entire thing with the student looking shocked. Don't worry, my mom told him what I was on to. So as I was tearing through the whole toy, I took a mental note of its pattern and which part it connected afterward, I put the toy back together and happily dragged it across the room. The next day, I replicated the toy and built myself a new one for my sister and we both played with our toy cars for days on end until a new trend came around. It was a memory I treasure to this day. It made me realize that if no adult could give me the things that I want and simply need, then I would be that one adult who'll do it.

Years went on and I grew up. Armed with that notion, I started my entrepreneurial business by buying guavas in bulk and selling them by piece to my classmates. I profited greatly from it and bought myself and my younger sister some treats along with some pocket money just so we would never go hungry during recess. It made me feel proud to provide for her in every way I can. My business took off for months until the accident but when I got back from school, my business ventures changed from a soup kitchen, iced candy business, creating commissioned coin purses, bookmark commissions, and tutoring.

Back then, it is easy to say that I was simply driven by money but, at that time, I was just happy that I got to make people smile with my commissions and make my little sister happy in the process whilst earning a little money on the side.

A few more years after elementary school, I am now a freelancer with a flexible job on a per-project basis. It's fun with the waiting game because I get to play mobile games whenever I want and still attend school online. I don't have a steady income but I don't mind. If I learned anything from when I was a child, it would be that chasing money is a business best left to the adults. I realized that I grew up a little too soon.

I gave up a portion of my childhood because nobody could provide for me but it's okay. I turned out just fine. 

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

I could never be mad at my mother for how I turned out to be. She was the one who helped me channel my inner frustrations and boredom into working with the things I love. She supported me every step of the way and I could never thank her enough for that. Life is still never that good to me but we are thriving. I never had to make sugar water just so I could get to have my sweet fix for the day. I could easily buy a packet of chocolates from the store with some of my adult money but I only do that during small, personal wins.

For now, I have a long list of hobbies that I could monetize with but chose not to. I'm taking it all one step at a time. I tend to burn out a lot these days and I'm still trying to get my mojo back. If only becoming a hobbyist is regarded as a professional occupation then please sign me up!